Friday, July 3, 2009

You are not alone

On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night. Ps. 63:6

After my ex husband left I would lay in bed at night begging God to let me not wake up the next morning. All I could think about was the hole in my life, the emptiness, the darkness. Fear totally took over and all I could do was cry out in despair. I was alone.

Night after endless night I was gripped by fear and sorrow.

Slowly comfort started to come. It came in many forms, prayer, Bible reading, prayer, Books, prayer, Single Mother's Ministry at church, prayer and more prayer.

One day I noticed the heaviness on my chest was gone. I had not really noticed the constant feeling of someone sitting on my chest because it had been there for so many years. I was truly amazed when it lifted, I could actually breath again. What a feeling.

As the days, week, months, and years rolled on I realized instead of being a fearful, weak, whining mess I was actually turning into something not so bad. I began to feel like a woman of worth, I really believed God had a purpose and a plan for me and it was going to be good.

Now at night, instead of wanting to die, I lie in bed thinking of my Father's love for me. How He, in His infinite wisdom didn't answer my prayer for death.

During the night, instead of cursing that empty side of the bed I am at peace.

Peace didn't come all at once, it was a long, drawn out painful process. But it did come and it is so sweet.

I lie in my bed at night and recount all the miracles He has preformed on my behalf. Friends, I only wish I had time to tell you about each one of them. I am overwhelmed by His faithfulness to me.

I lie in my bed at night and am so grateful He loved me enough to get me out of somewhere I didn't belong so He could put me right where He wanted me.

I lie in my bed at night and praise Him, not for what He's done but for who He is. My strength, my strong tower, my everpresent help in times of trouble.

Yes, on my bed I remember Him, I think of Him through the watches of the night!

If you feel alone, if you're in a situation that you think you can't get out of, if you need to get to a safe place. There is hope, you aren't alone.

I know from experience God will place people in your life to encourage you and listen to you and help get you where you need to be. Spiritually and or physically.

You're not alone, you're not forgotten. He has the hairs on your head numbered, if He's that much into the little details of your life He's well aware of the big issues. Put your trust in Him and He will never let you down.

I've come a long way on my journey, and looking back I can see His hand in each step.

So tonight as I lay in my bed I'll say a prayer of thanksgiving for His many blessings, and ask my Father to give you a special hug so you know He's there for you.

You are loved,
Be Blessed
Princess, Daughter of the King of Kings
Mother of Princesses and Princes
Grandmother of Royalty


  1. Dear Wendy,

    Some times we have to despair before we can truly believe. You are so blessed to be at peace and safe in the Lord's love. Thanks for stopping by and visiting my blog.

  2. I'm so happy you stopped by my blog so I could find yours.

    I have a tendency toward anxiety and fear, like Much Afraid in "Hind's Feet in High Places" but I'm learning that as I abide in Christ, I can trust Him more than I fear the "what if's".

  3. Thank you for sharing God's faithfulness to you. Yes you ARE a woman of worth. We seem to have the hardest time with that truth.

    Enjoy your Independence Day Celebration!


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