Thursday, February 3, 2011
We all know life is a journey with lots of twists and turns.
We all know we can plan for our future, but in reality have minimal control over the outcome of said future.
I love the saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."
As I'm coming to the end of my unemployment benefits with no job in sight, not for the lack of trying, I find myself saying, "I know God has a plan for me" with tears welling up in my eyes. I find myself pulling those words up from somewhere deep inside me almost chocking on them. Not just a surface, glib "Christianese" speak that we all are so familiar with, but a "speaking through the fear" declaration.
When I was first laid off I was excited, I couldn't wait to see what God was going to do with me. I just knew it was going to be amazing!!
Women's Bible Studies in my home, a patent on my day planner idea, ministering to abused and hurting women, the possibilities were endless!
Two years later, after many failed attempts to do odd jobs, thousands of applications, hours of networking and still no job, the excitement has worn off!
Oh, I still believe God has a plan for me and in His time it will be revealed. There is no question in my mind that those words are fact, but I have to be like David and work constantly to encourage myself.
We won't even go into the embarrassment factor here. I know everyone that looks at me is thinking what a loser! Well maybe not everyone, but that's how I can let myself feel at times.
I had a plan for my life and trust me I am no where near where I had planned on being at this point in my life!
Lately, I've been asking God for just a little sign that He really did know I was still here and what my situation was and this morning I read Prov. 3: 5&6.
"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
I thought I was trusting Him, but I can recount many attempts to manipulate situations to get a job. If I do this or that and speak to so and so and then this will happen, on and on and on.
As long as this nagging spirit of fear is tugging at my innards I know I'm not fully trusting in Him.
His word promises if I put ALL my trust in Him, and stop trying to analyze why I'm still out of work, acknowledge Him in every area of my life with everything that I do everyday, He will make my path straight.
He may not show me every little step, but my path will level out and His plan for me will be able to materialize.
This is not an easy task. We are taught to be self reliant, to make it happen, to be independent, etc., etc. so there's a lot of junk in the mind that has to be eliminated before we can truly say we trust the Lord at ALL times.
I'm not saying sit on the couch and do nothing. Work on eliminating fear by building total trust in the Lord through reading, studying, believing and acting on His word, and if "things" are stripped away your trust level will be increased. Realize that your gifts and talents are for Him to choreograph, not for your good pleasure but for His.
He doesn't want us poor and destitute, but He does want us to fully realize His ability to provide everything. He wants us to KNOW what we have is because HE has given it to us and what He allows to be taken away is to teach us total dependence on Him.
This may sound like whining to some, but I shared all this in hopes of encouraging anyone out there who is in a situation where they have little control.
Our job in all this is to learn to trust Him completely with everything and everyone in our lives, acknowledge He is who He says He is, and know He all ready has everything worked out for our benefit and His glory.
He does love us so and He will take care of us.
I know He who created the universe is well able to put me in the right job at the right time as long as I acknowledge Him with each job application, and tell everyone I know He is my provider, protector, strong tower.
Wendy, Princess Daughter of the King of Kings
Mother of Princesses and Princes
Grandmother of Royalty
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