Tuesday, September 7, 2010
God Speaks, even when there's nothing said
Job 16:20 says, " My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God." NIV
Several years ago at a Woman's Meeting the alter was opened up for us to seek God, pray, what ever was needed. I went up secretly hoping for a word from God through the lady who had spoken to us that morning, I have to say I was totally taken off guard by what happened to me there in His presence.
I fell on my knees praying and deep, deep, deep from inside me I started to cry. Memories of my past kept flooding in and all I could do was cry, cry, cry. Not just whimper, or the sophisticated quiet tear rolling down one cheek that causes others to say, "Oh, what strength". No, not me I was sobbing uncontrollably, loud, tears, snot the whole ball of wax.
Part of me kept saying, "Pull it together, girl you are embarrassing me in front of all these ladies" but I just couldn't. The second I thought I was about to regain my composure it would start all over again. I couldn't control it, I felt like my insides were coming out and to a certain extent they were.
All the "stuff" from that part of my life that was less than stellar, that part that still tries to creep in to cause shame and guilt, that part that destroyed my relationship with my children, that part that makes up my testimony was playing before me like a movie that I couldn't shut off. It just wouldn't stop. I had no control, and I was getting pretty upset with myself for the embarrassing display. I remember the lady coming near me, and I was thinking, "finally, a word from God and I can put myself back together." She walked right past me, I knew she knew I was there in a little heap at the alter, anyone with in ear shot knew I was there.
I was totally discheveled, makeup running down dripping off my chin, hair matted from sweat, thank God I had slacks on. You get the picture.....
OK, I've said all that to say this.
There was a lady, a matriarch in the church. You know the one, she's what we aspire to be when we grow up. Her parents were missionaries, she has a Godly presence about her, frail in appearance probably in her 70's or early 80's, and yet mighty in the Spirit. I'm sure anyone reading this knows her or someone like her.
She came and sat down beside me on the floor, which I knew at the time had to be painful for her.
During all this mess, when most of us would have been tempted to start a deliverance and cast out a few of the demons who were torturing me, or try to get me to talk about what was going on, or at the very least grab some oil and start praying in tongues she did none of the above.
In her wisdom, maturity and compassion she just sat there handing me tissues. Occasionally she would rub my back, but for the most part of this ordeal she just sat there next to me, on the floor quietly not saying a word. It was like she was protecting me, possibly she was. Maybe she was the reason no one else came over and tried to "minister" to me. She just sat there and let me get it all out till there was nothing left.
I can't describe what her presence was like for me, but this scripture in Job, "My intercessor is my friend as my eyes pour out tears to God." Comes to life every time I remember that morning.
She was quietly interceding on my behalf, handing me tissue after tissue sitting next to me on the floor just being there, allowing me to pour out my tears to God.
When ever I am in a place where someone is in distress I remember that morning, and I know sometimes the best way to be a friend is just be there. I get so tempted to share my experiences, to give scripture, to anoint with oil to "minister" in some way, to do do do, talk talk talk. I thank God for the Woman of God who taught me sometimes quietly being there for someone is the best ministry we can offer.
I will never forget what Miss Amy did for me that day, I will never forget the lesson I learned from her.
Perhaps that lesson was the Word from the Lord He wanted me to have that day!
Daughter of the King
Mother of Princesses and Princes
Grandmother of Royalty!
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