Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Backing away from the Light

Wow, I almost couldn't find my way to my own back porch.
I have learned that no matter how craftily you back away from the Light you back right up into God who's been waiting for you!

My backward journey began in Oct. or Nov., I was getting too close to things that I had been praying for, dreaming of, working toward.

Feeling that old familiar sensation of fear creeping into my blood stream I started a backward slide away from the very things I was walking toward.

It wasn't a conscious backward movement just a very subtle letting go, procrastinating, and the old favorite not feeling "worthy" of any kind of success or realization of a dream.

My backward slide took me into a terrible 2 month bout with bronchitis among other things.

When we give into the enemy's lies he holds nothing back to keep us from our appointed destinations.

I couldn't concentrate on anything, therefore I stopped reading my Bible, having daily devotions, communicating with friends except enough to keep up appearances. I was not only physically sick but choking out the very life in me.

Remember the dream where you are falling? That's how I felt. Minimal hope, falling and too tired to grab a hold of anything that would stop my slide.

I did however know all the right words to say so no one would know how really desperate I felt. I was in no mood to be anointed with oil and be prayed over. Pride raises it's ugly head and keeps us from getting the very thing we need the most.

Finally, a dear friend of mine dragged me to the doctor, paid for the appointment for me, then ushered me into Publix where I could get free antibiotics and the other stuff that was prescribed. Things started turning around, not right away, very slowly.

As my bronchitis started to clear and the antibiotics started working in my body my mind started to clear. God provided an online conference for me to attend with the A Woman Inspired group. I love those Girls.

It was then I realized even as I was slowly backing away from God, tiptoeing so no one would notice, He had all ready gone to the place where He knew I would back smack into Him.

I am absolutely blown away by His constant love for me. Especially at my age, I think I should have it all together spiritually and not get off track. But there He is graciously, lovingly and sometimes with a smack upside my head capturing me from myself and guiding me back into Him where I belong.

I'm sharing this with you because I know full well I don't go through anything that someone else won't, at some point, need encouragement to get through.

Let me tell you now, no matter what the "reason" no matter how sick you are, how fearful you are, how unworthy you feel, how tired you are, God is there waiting for you to just fall backward into His loving, healing, supportive arms. Just like in the falling dream, only with the assurance He's there to catch us, because He said He would.

We aren't supposed to react or give into our feelings or illnesses or emotions, the only thing we are to do is trust He will be the light in our darkness. He will be the dance, He will be the Prince Charming we dream of.

If you feel yourself slipping backward away from the Light, just let go....I promise, like me, He'll catch you and make you safe.

When you're drowning the worst thing you can do is struggle, the minute you trust in the water to hold you up you start floating.

Daughter of the King of Kings
Mother of Princesses and Princes
Grandmother of Royalty


  1. I'm glad you got the medicine you needed and are feeling better...and are back where you belong in your Father's embrace!

  2. Wendy, I'm so thankful you have found yourself back in His arms again. He never let so, He was always there.

    And now I'm so glad to be able to tell you that you have won a free ticket to the Get Revived Conference at AWI!! WHOA-WHOO!


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