Unemployed? But God....

We all know life is a journey with lots of twists and turns.

We all know we can plan for our future, but in reality have minimal control over the outcome of said future.

I love the saying, "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans."

As I'm coming to the end of my unemployment benefits with no job in sight, not for the lack of trying, I find myself saying, "I know God has a plan for me" with tears welling up in my eyes. I find myself pulling those words up from somewhere deep inside me almost chocking on them. Not just a surface, glib "Christianese" speak that we all are so familiar with, but a "speaking through the fear" declaration.

When I was first laid off I was excited, I couldn't wait to see what God was going to do with me. I just knew it was going to be amazing!!

Women's Bible Studies in my home, a patent on my day planner idea, ministering to abused and hurting women, the possibilities were endless!

Two years later, after many failed attempts to do odd jobs, thousands of applications, hours of networking and still no job, the excitement has worn off!

Oh, I still believe God has a plan for me and in His time it will be revealed. There is no question in my mind that those words are fact, but I have to be like David and work constantly to encourage myself.

We won't even go into the embarrassment factor here. I know everyone that looks at me is thinking what a loser! Well maybe not everyone, but that's how I can let myself feel at times.

I had a plan for my life and trust me I am no where near where I had planned on being at this point in my life!

Lately, I've been asking God for just a little sign that He really did know I was still here and what my situation was and this morning I read Prov. 3: 5&6.

"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

I thought I was trusting Him, but I can recount many attempts to manipulate situations to get a job. If I do this or that and speak to so and so and then this will happen, on and on and on.

As long as this nagging spirit of fear is tugging at my innards I know I'm not fully trusting in Him.

His word promises if I put ALL my trust in Him, and stop trying to analyze why I'm still out of work, acknowledge Him in every area of my life with everything that I do everyday, He will make my path straight.

He may not show me every little step, but my path will level out and His plan for me will be able to materialize.

This is not an easy task. We are taught to be self reliant, to make it happen, to be independent, etc., etc. so there's a lot of junk in the mind that has to be eliminated before we can truly say we trust the Lord at ALL times.

I'm not saying sit on the couch and do nothing. Work on eliminating fear by building total trust in the Lord through reading, studying, believing and acting on His word, and if "things" are stripped away your trust level will be increased. Realize that your gifts and talents are for Him to choreograph, not for your good pleasure but for His.

He doesn't want us poor and destitute, but He does want us to fully realize His ability to provide everything. He wants us to KNOW what we have is because HE has given it to us and what He allows to be taken away is to teach us total dependence on Him.

This may sound like whining to some, but I shared all this in hopes of encouraging anyone out there who is in a situation where they have little control.

Our job in all this is to learn to trust Him completely with everything and everyone in our lives, acknowledge He is who He says He is, and know He all ready has everything worked out for our benefit and His glory.

He does love us so and He will take care of us.

I know He who created the universe is well able to put me in the right job at the right time as long as I acknowledge Him with each job application, and tell everyone I know He is my provider, protector, strong tower.

Blessings,

Wendy, Princess Daughter of the King of Kings

Mother of Princesses and Princes

Grandmother of Royalty

Backing away from the Light

Wow, I almost couldn't find my way to my own back porch.

I have learned that no matter how craftily you back away from the Light you back right up into God who's been waiting for you!

My backward journey began in Oct. or Nov., I was getting too close to things that I had been praying for, dreaming of, working toward.

Feeling that old familiar sensation of fear creeping into my blood stream I started a backward slide away from the very things I was walking toward.

It wasn't a conscious backward movement just a very subtle letting go, procrastinating, and the old favorite not feeling "worthy" of any kind of success or realization of a dream.

My backward slide took me into a terrible 2 month bout with bronchitis among other things.

When we give into the enemy's lies he holds nothing back to keep us from our appointed destinations.

I couldn't concentrate on anything, therefore I stopped reading my Bible, having daily devotions, communicating with friends except enough to keep up appearances. I was not only physically sick but choking out the very life in me.

Remember the dream where you are falling? That's how I felt. Minimal hope, falling and too tired to grab a hold of anything that would stop my slide.

I did however know all the right words to say so no one would know how really desperate I felt. I was in no mood to be anointed with oil and be prayed over. Pride raises it's ugly head and keeps us from getting the very thing we need the most.

Finally, a dear friend of mine dragged me to the doctor, paid for the appointment for me, then ushered me into Publix where I could get free antibiotics and the other stuff that was prescribed. Things started turning around, not right away, very slowly.

As my bronchitis started to clear and the antibiotics started working in my body my mind started to clear. God provided an online conference for me to attend with the A Woman Inspired group. I love those Girls.

It was then I realized even as I was slowly backing away from God, tiptoeing so no one would notice, He had all ready gone to the place where He knew I would back smack into Him.

I am absolutely blown away by His constant love for me. Especially at my age, I think I should have it all together spiritually and not get off track. But there He is graciously, lovingly and sometimes with a smack upside my head capturing me from myself and guiding me back into Him where I belong.

I'm sharing this with you because I know full well I don't go through anything that someone else won't, at some point, need encouragement to get through.

Let me tell you now, no matter what the "reason" no matter how sick you are, how fearful you are, how unworthy you feel, how tired you are, God is there waiting for you to just fall backward into His loving, healing, supportive arms. Just like in the falling dream, only with the assurance He's there to catch us, because He said He would.

We aren't supposed to react or give into our feelings or illnesses or emotions, the only thing we are to do is trust He will be the light in our darkness. He will be the dance, He will be the Prince Charming we dream of.

If you feel yourself slipping backward away from the Light, just let go....I promise, like me, He'll catch you and make you safe.

When you're drowning the worst thing you can do is struggle, the minute you trust in the water to hold you up you start floating.

Blessings,

Daughter of the King of Kings

Mother of Princesses and Princes

Grandmother of Royalty